fuck.

Well, I'm trying to stop smoking due to my ever-decreasing financial state (never mind my health, huh). I've only gone one day without one, which to a non smoker seems like no time, but to someone like me who smokes 20+ cigarettes daily, it's a damn long time! Have any of the rest of you ever tried to stop smoking? It's so bloody difficult! I've tried everything from eating, drawing, drinking water, to sucking lollypops, cooking, cleaning, reading and web browsing (although mostly eating) to curb my cravings. One of the good things about the web browsing I done, is that I've come across some really great artists. I thought I'd share. 



  scott radke - untitled 2005

  scott radke - molecular alphabet +1

Scott Radke, is a 37 year old artist from Cleveland, Ohio, who's marionettes and sculptures are very dark and moody, but with a sense of humour. They make me think of decay and they all look a bit eerie. He used to also do sand sculptures, how cool is that.


(Well, this is a new day. I figured I'd edit and finish my post. I've also taken to smoking again...)


  brandt peters - elsa

  brandt peters - abandoned playground

 kathie olivas collab. brant peters - the proposition

Brandt Peters, a self taught artist from Tampa, FL, was brought up in a family of antique collectors and artists and clams his 'eclectic upbringing was filled with a wide range of ’Pop’ ephemera.' He is married to fellow artist Kathie Olivas, who's work is also extremely brilliant, I may even say better than Peters. His paintings specialise in cartoon alter-ego's, and although they may not always seem profound on the surface, they leave us ruminating the idea that in our lives, although we may not look normal and routine on the outside, there's something deep and interesting hidden underneath in everyone. 



  paul chatem - derelict

  paul chatem - fire brat

Paul Chatem, a 33 year old artist brought up in Washington but now living in LA, draws inspiration for his paintings from history and storytellers. Like some of those mentioned previously, he uses a sort of cartoon style. In his work, he uses alot of yellows and browns and oranges, so his paintings have a really rusty look to them, which I think gives his work a kind of aged feeling as if it has an interesting story of times gone by behind it.


  ray ceasar - blessed

  ray ceasar - madre

  ray ceasar - precious

  ray ceasar - sleeping by day

 ray ceasar - suddenly

Ray Ceasar, a London born, but Canada raised digital artist, born in 1958, creates some of the most curious pieces I've seen in a while. I'm not sure what his inspirations or interests are, as on his website, he describes himself in the life of a dog, and I only briefly spent time reading up on him and looking on his website. His art though, to me, is completely peculiar. His work makes me think of infantile sexuality, freudianism, nautica, octupi, and so much more, and to be honest, some of it puts me into a state of stupefaction. I think alot of psycho analysis needs to go into understanding his work.

Aaaaaanyways, couldn't (be bothered to) remove the menus from the Ceasar pics. And, since this was just supposed to be a short blog to curb my cravings for cigarettes, I'll end this post here. I'm off to Ceasars website, I'm sure the countless galleries will keep me busy for the rest of the night. 

Philip Cunningham has been making music under the pseudonym 'Firebrand Boy' since 2004. Once part of a duo, he has now decided to go solo, and he teams vocals and guitar with sounds from his Gameboy and NES, amongst other handheld games/consoles. His Myspace account holds some entirely awesome tunes and you should check out his website also! He recently played at Blip festival 2007 (a 4 day event focusing on the 8-bit scene - artists who use videogames and computer hardware as their creative tools) in New York.

The only disappointing thing is that he's removed his cover of 'Such Great Heights' by The Postal Service. It truly was amazing. If anybody has it, or can find it for me, I'd be really appreciative! =D


Glasgow: December 2007 Tronic @ The 13th Note

 


Myspace

Official Firebrand Boy website 

I have finally dyed my hair red again, well, it was around a fortnight ago. But it needed done badly, it was faded so bad that it was a funny colour of pinky orange. Eew. Although the picture I've uploaded is black and white anyway...

I can't say I'm a huge fan of Icelandic band Múm's electronic glitch sounds, but they have some decent stuff, this song, from the album Go Go Smear The Poison Ivy, 2007, is one of the few I do enjoy. The reason I'm posting it, however, is because I really love this video.

 

For anyone who (like myself) loves silent movies, and hasn't managed to seen the original 1922 movie by F. W. Murnau, Nosferatu, based on the novel by Bram Stoker, I thought I'd post this. Max Schreck plays a great Count Dracula. 

However, if these older/silent movies aren't your thing, but vampire movies are, then I advise you to check out Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht (Nosferatu: Phantom of the Night), a 1979 German take on the Dracula story by Werner Herzog. It stars Klaus Kinski (in his personal life, there's a fine line between genius and insanity, watch the clip) as Count Dracula, The Vampyre.

Here it is in all it's glory.





Additionally, just for the record, I don't think anyone could play the part as well as Bella Lugosi in 1931's Dracula. Here's a link to the full movie, public domain, for anyone who cares to take a lookie. 

What a great Youtube find, I'm exceedingly chuffed. Haha. =]

Well my night of doing nothing went exceedingly to plan. I done all of the aforementioned activities, except eating the empty taco shell, and I had three sausages instead of one. I also managed to burn almost half of my left hand off with boiling hot oil. I'm fine, incase you wondered, but my fingers are a little sore. I'm still bored, and because I was up till 7am and slept all day, I'm not tired tonight again. It's 3:30am. The hour from 3-4 creeps me out, always, especially 3:10 exactly, any other time is fine, it's a psychological thing, I've fed myself this nonsense about 3am being creepy for so long that I've tricked my mind into believing it. My cats are creeping around the stairs too, making spooky noises, which isn't helping. I've decided when the clock hits 4, I'm going to make myself sleep! 

                 

It's a Thursday night. I've had a babysitter for about 3 hours now, and I'm still sitting here in my house, by myself. With nothing better to do than post on LJ about how crap my current situation is. I fancied going to the pub, but seeing as how I never went to bed until 7am this morning, and then slept till 3pm, I can't muster the energy to get myself ready to go anywhere. I fancied going to the movies, if I go there, I won't have to get ready because I'll be by myself anyway. But there's always the chance of seeing someone there who I don't want to see me looking like I couldn't find the hairbrush when I stepped out of bed after 7 years under the duvet. I flirted with the idea of going to the shop and buying alcohol so I could get drunk at home, but it's frighteningly cold outside and I don't wanna brave the weather. Nor do I want to stay sober.

I'll probably stay home and spend my time wishing I was not at home. I'll no doubt spend far too much time on certain social networking sites. I'll scour Youtube looking for kooky/obscure/random videos. I'll smoke so many Marlboros that I'll feel sick when I light one up. I'll find an awesome website and become so entranced by it's wonders that I hold my pee in so long that by the time I reach the bathroom it's 1.5 seconds away from escaping me involunatarily. I'll exchange in some chit and some chat with people on MSN. I'll check out inspiring art and fetch my drawing pad then not draw anything. I'll think of things to eat and not eat anything because I'm too lazy, until after midnight when my stomach hurts through hunger so I'll eat something ridiculous like one sausage and an empty taco shell. I'll check out designers and fashion websites and wish I had the money to dress differently. I'll do a bit of perving on cute guys and girls online, some locally, some from across the globe. Blah, blah, blah. In short, I'll waste my night doing nothing.

Of of the things bothering me recently is my relationship status. I feel as if I'm doing the chasing, and nobody is interested back. I don't know why this is. I thnk I'm doomed to be an eternal dater. Just getting settled then having to do it all over again. I like relationships, I want a boyfriend. I no longer want to

unɹ puɐ ʞɔnɟ

I'll be 23 in two months time, I'm past all that. Atleast I should be. I just want someone to cuddle, someone to gush about, someone to tell me I'm beautiful, someone to do sweet things for, days to look forward to. I don't want a serious relationship. I just want someone to spend a couple of days a week with, having fun. Do I want too much? No, I wouldn't say so. But...


If you don't like the fish you're catching, you've got to change the bait. 


letters and sodas

Holy shit! 
 

 


'Me unscrabbly, chocka doobee, doubly chockadoobee!'

Whatever fucked up person thought of this ....egg nightmare, must have been smoking some seriously strong doobee's when they created this advert! This egg (which seems to be made of skin) seems posessed! I'm mentally scarred, but the real scary thing is, I can't stop watching it!!

That voice should belong to some kind of fuzzy character from Jim Henson's Creature Shop! It's a good voice, it's amusing, it makes me think of Labyrinth. But teamed with the devil-egg, it's frankly just scary.

...ooooh grubbly!


 

1. Will you be looking for a new job?
I'll definately be looking for a new job, I seriously need some cash this year.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
Well yeah, I think I am right now. I don't want anything serious, but I want something. I guess I just miss the cuddles and kisses and all the sweet, thoughtful little things like getting cards for no reason whatsoever, other than to tell you how great you are, mixtapes covered in scribbles and lovehearts and ILU's, going for walks, holding hands, blah blah. The answer is yes, basically.

3. New house?
For sure.

4. What will you do differently in 2008?
I'll try to get some sort of routine in my life, try to sort my problems instead of putting them to the back of my mind and hoping they'll go away.

5. New Years resolution?
Have more money, have more fun ...!

6. What will you not be doing in 2008?
Getting the buzz of stepping onto an aeroplane and knowing that you can be completely carefree for just a short while.

7. Any trips planned?
I'm hoping for a few camping trips, possibly a caravanning holiday, maybe try and do one festival, more if money permits.

8. Wedding plans?
I'm married already, but separated. Won't be going back down that avenue, but I don't know whether divorce will be on the cards this year. I think perhaps it should be...

9. What's on your calendar?
So far, I've got Frankie Boyle, Circus of Horrors, M.S.I. There's plenty more stuff/places I wanna do/see/go to, hopefully, I'll achieve as much of it as possible.

10. What can't you wait for?
Summer <3

11. What would you like to see happen differently?
Hopefully, I'll get my own place soon, sort my finances out, get some routine, then I'll be more settled and so will the wee one.

12. What about yourself will you be changing?
I think I'll try being more confident this year

13. What happened in 07 that you didn't think would ever happen?
My marriage split up

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
I certainly hope so, I know I can be a [cunt] at times

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 07?
Definately, I'm hoping to buy as much new clothes as I can, and there's a style I'm kinda liking just now, but can't really try it out as I'm too skint.

16. Will you start or quit drinking?
I drink alot, hopefully I'll reduce my intake!

17. Will you have a better relationship with your family?
I think I'm pretty good on that front, hopefully I'll get on better with my brother, as I think that me having moved back into my mums place has grated a bit on both of us. Hopefully I'll see my dad and my big brothers family more it's just difficult with him living so far away and me always being too skint for trains, etc, and not being able to drive.

18. Will you do charity work?
Probably not. I'd really like to go abroad and do something, but that's never gonna happen because I have Stella.

19. Will you go to bars?
Always.

20. Will you be nice to people you don't know?
Och, see, now if I say no to this, it makes me seem like an utter cunt. Haha. But I'm no more of a cunt than anyone else when it comes to this, if somebody acts like an arsehole, then I'm not gonna like them and certainly not gonna treat them with respect. As for the nice ones, then yes, of course.

21. Do you expect 2008 to be a good year for you?
I don't expect it, but I certainly hope it will.

22. How much did you change from this time last year till now?
I think I'm still a bit paranoid and self-conscious, less so than I was though, but I also think I'm more self aware, which has made me more confident, I'm single now after a 5 year relationship, so that's changed me alot. I think I've become less shallow, and more accepting of people who I frowned upon before, for no good reason. Still occassionally feel a bit depressed, but not half as much as I used to. I'm discovering myself after losing part of who I was after having a child and letting my personality slip away, also my social life was taking a decline, and now I'm finding that my social life is busy enough for me to be happy with it, I feel I'm finding myself and my personality, and my confidence is building, I feel happier.

23. Do you plan on having a child?
I have a daughter who will be turning 5 this summer and starting primary school. I don't plan to ever have anymore children. Ever ...Ever ...ever.

24. Will you still be friends with the same people as last year?
Yeah, I certainly hope so. I've got my best friends, my friends and my aquaintances, I hope to keep them all and find many new ones!

25. Major lifestyle changes?
Being a single parent, managing on a single income, hopefully getting my own flat/house and living alone with my daughter, whilst having shared custody. That will be strange.

26. Will you be moving?
Not extremely far from where I am now, but I do plan on getting my own place

27. What will you make sure doesn't happen in 2008 that happened in 07?
Depression. A dwindling social life. Racking up huge debts.